I wrote a while back about the flux capacitor of control, which essentially is a technique you can use to spend your energy on fruitful pursuits. I realise now that this technique is one small step on a longer journey and I wanted to expand on the original ideas with what I have learned so far.
So a brief run through of the original idea…
You divide and conquer things that concern you by either taking control of it, or emotionally letting go of it. Anything that you feel worried about but can’t control will cause you pain (B), so the aim is to push everything either into the area you can control (A), or out of the area that you are concerned about into the area you no longer worry about (C).
This is all well and good, but I have come to realise that this goes against something that I value. By detaching yourself from things you cannot control, you are essentially giving up on it. The “C” list on your Flux Capacitor is stuff that you have said “because this cannot be controlled by me, I am a victim and must learn to detach myself emotionally in order to be happy”. This mentality does not sit well with me.
My self-image is one of positivity – an agent for change; someone who strives to make things better. Giving up on something because I don’t think I can change it just doesn’t cut it for me. So I need to redefine how I think about these things.
So here it is in simple bullet points.
- Nothing is so far outside of my control that I can’t influence it.
- Nothing is so far outside of my control that I can’t choose how I respond to it.
- Nothing is so far outside of my control that it can’t choose to remain happy and positive. Seriously. Being happy or unhappy is my choice and external forces can’t affect this unless I let them.